A couple of months ago, AW sent me an email that I meant to respond to.\u00c2\u00a0 She basically asked me what was keeping me going:<\/p>\n
d)Your grace through this whole thing amazes me, I think I would of just went into a ball and would have completely stopped functioning entirely
\ne) Someone told me this when I was 19 and the doctors told me I was going to die and for some reason I think of it now a lot when things are tough, even though I’m not religious I find it comforting “God only gives you want you can handle”<\/p><\/blockquote>\nI finally finished my response to her:<\/p>\n
I guess that there are two things that keep me going: Neitzche and Beckett.\u00c2\u00a0 (LOL)<\/p>\n
I was probably in 10th or 11th\u00c2\u00a0 grade when I first heard a bastardized version of Neitzche’s quote “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”\u00c2\u00a0 It is totally fraught, but really something i have lived by.\u00c2\u00a0 i have really pushed myself in my life.\u00c2\u00a0 really to the edge mentally and physically.<\/p>\n
one semester in college i worked so hard (and was so strung out on caffeine) i collapsed and spent a week in the hospital.\u00c2\u00a0 fever was 104. but after i got better i think i was stronger for it.\u00c2\u00a0 though, i always worried there might have been some brain damage.\u00c2\u00a0 i never was able to pull all-nighters again.<\/p>\n
In Waiting for Godot Estragon says “I can’t go on like this” and Vladimir says “That’s what you think.”\u00c2\u00a0 Sometimes it is translated “That’s what you say.”\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 But actually the French is “On dit ca”\u00c2\u00a0 or “One says that.”\u00c2\u00a0 Which I think is a subtle difference.\u00c2\u00a0 But really, what else am I going to do?\u00c2\u00a0 I’m waiting.\u00c2\u00a0 But i’m not just sitting around waiting.\u00c2\u00a0 I’m actively waiting.\u00c2\u00a0 For what, who knows.\u00c2\u00a0 Godot?\u00c2\u00a0 The White Light? The Singularity?\u00c2\u00a0 The End of Oil?\u00c2\u00a0 Whatevs.\u00c2\u00a0 I’m just trying to keep myself entertained while I wait.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A couple of months ago, AW sent me an email that I meant to respond to.\u00c2\u00a0 She basically asked me what was keeping me going: d)Your grace through this whole thing amazes me, I think I would of just went into a ball and would have completely stopped functioning entirely e) Someone told me this … Continue reading Neitzche and Beckett<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[27,18],"class_list":["post-120","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daily-update","tag-friends","tag-the-fight"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/120","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=120"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/120\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=120"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=120"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=120"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}