one of my colleagues called me today.\u00c2\u00a0 i talked to him for a while.\u00c2\u00a0 just chatting about the situation.\u00c2\u00a0 but also, an acquaintance\/friend of his was just diagnosed with Stage III Melanoma (what I have).\u00c2\u00a0 but there are complications — something in the intestines that is (maybe) not the melanoma, it is something else.\u00c2\u00a0 he’s having blood in in his stool; i think it sounded like he had noticed something a while ago, but hadn’t gone until the blood showed up.\u00c2\u00a0 apparently the doctor said something like ‘i wish you had come six months ago.’<\/p>\n
hearing that story makes me so glad i reacted in the way i did.\u00c2\u00a0 i swear, i wonder how long it would have been until i found it, if i hadn’t forgotten to trim my toenails, and if it wasn’t so dry in my apt in the winter, i wouldn’t have scratched the back of my dry dry calfs, and i wouldn’t have caught my toe on the lesion and yelped, and looked down to discover that new mole.<\/p>\n
actually, i know when i would have seen it.\u00c2\u00a0 K saw it and asked what it was.\u00c2\u00a0 I told her i had gone to the dermatologist, and he said it was either a blood blister and going to go away in four weeks, or to come back to have it removed.\u00c2\u00a0 so it would have been maybe six weeks later.<\/p>\n
my primary care physician (whom i totally have a crush on) called me when she found out (via doctors reports.)\u00c2\u00a0 she was pretty amazed\/shocked herself.\u00c2\u00a0 she said “you know, you saved your own life by finding it and acting on it.” and she is not the kind of person to make exaggerations.<\/p>\n
anyway, it was great to talk to my colleague today.\u00c2\u00a0 i enjoyed talking with him.\u00c2\u00a0 but it was a little weird being the melanoma expert.\u00c2\u00a0 i mean that is largely why he called.\u00c2\u00a0 he wanted to give his acquaintance\/friend some info from my experience, and to get my doctor’s info.\u00c2\u00a0 its not something i really *want* to be an expert on.<\/p>\n
also, it was a bit of pretend-normal.\u00c2\u00a0 talking to him, i got up for it.\u00c2\u00a0 i felt better talking to him.\u00c2\u00a0 i was concentrating.\u00c2\u00a0 using all my energy to be lively.\u00c2\u00a0 trying to be upbeat.\u00c2\u00a0 charming.\u00c2\u00a0 make jokes.\u00c2\u00a0 laugh at his jokes.\u00c2\u00a0 etc.\u00c2\u00a0 in the process i make it seems like i am doing better than i am.\u00c2\u00a0 partly b\/c for that moment i *am* doing better.\u00c2\u00a0 but also b\/c i don’t want to appear not well.\u00c2\u00a0 it is, to a certain degree, about appearances.<\/p>\n
pretend-normal.\u00c2\u00a0 tomorrow i restart the Interferon.\u00c2\u00a0 back to life in the slow lane.\u00c2\u00a0 no appetite, no energy, no motivation.\u00c2\u00a0 i have been really anxious.\u00c2\u00a0 i took extra anxiety medication this morning.\u00c2\u00a0 i don’t know if it helped.\u00c2\u00a0 i rode my bicycle hard.\u00c2\u00a0 i think that helped.\u00c2\u00a0 i was breathing really hard; the kind where you get a headache in your ears.\u00c2\u00a0 that is such a sign that you are working out hard.\u00c2\u00a0 i have not worked out that hard in four months?\u00c2\u00a0 it sure feels good.\u00c2\u00a0 though who knows when i’ll be able to do it again.<\/p>\n
130 tomorrow is bloodwork.\u00c2\u00a0 hopefully i pass, and get the drugs.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
one of my colleagues called me today.\u00c2\u00a0 i talked to him for a while.\u00c2\u00a0 just chatting about the situation.\u00c2\u00a0 but also, an acquaintance\/friend of his was just diagnosed with Stage III Melanoma (what I have).\u00c2\u00a0 but there are complications — something in the intestines that is (maybe) not the melanoma, it is something else.\u00c2\u00a0 he’s … Continue reading becoming a melanoma expert<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[11,28,6,16,30,13],"class_list":["post-34","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daily-update","tag-interferon","tag-iv","tag-melanoma","tag-other-peoples-stories","tag-portland","tag-side-effects"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=34"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=34"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=34"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=34"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}