{"id":79,"date":"2008-08-05T10:48:51","date_gmt":"2008-08-05T17:48:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/?p=79"},"modified":"2008-08-05T10:48:51","modified_gmt":"2008-08-05T17:48:51","slug":"spoke-too-soon-really-bad-night","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/?p=79","title":{"rendered":"Spoke Too Soon: really bad night"},"content":{"rendered":"

it seemed like it was going to be an easy round this time, but i spoke too soon<\/a>. I went through a mild round of chills and fever, felt better, and went to sleep around 11, drugged and seemingly peaceful.<\/p>\n

\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

I woke at 130am with the worst chills I have had yet.\u00c2\u00a0 Much worse than the first night I started the much higher IV dosage. I tried to get warm with the heating pad and relax as best i could, but my muscles were on the threshold of spasming and going into shakes.\u00c2\u00a0 Shivering at the top of the stairs, I called S for help.<\/p>\n

He turned the AC off, brought luke warm water, warmer sweatpants, a winter down blanket, arranged the heating pad, and held my hand until I\/my body had calmed down enough that i was not shaking anymore.<\/p>\n

Sometime later I realized I had started sweating.\u00c2\u00a0It is amazing how I can’t notice that liminal moment when I transition, I only notice once I am already overheated and feverish.\u00c2\u00a0 I pushed all of my warm stuff off and crawled out of bed.\u00c2\u00a0 I think S was there by the time i got out into the living room.\u00c2\u00a0 AC back on, ice packs on the chest, drinking cold water.<\/p>\n

The fever was still going strong when S went to be around 3am.\u00c2\u00a0 I tried to get to sleep.\u00c2\u00a0 i took even more sleeping drugs.\u00c2\u00a0 my mind was racing, and my body was aching.\u00c2\u00a0 i tried to meditate.\u00c2\u00a0 i tried to do guided visualizations.\u00c2\u00a0 i listened to Music for Airports<\/em>. and still I was sweating, and tossing and turning with no real chance of sleeping. \u00c2\u00a0It reminded me of the second day of IV infusion, when I couldn’t sleep all night.\u00c2\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n

As the sun started to come out, sometime before 6am, I thought I might try to sleep on the couch.\u00c2\u00a0 sometimes moving into a new bed helps me.\u00c2\u00a0 its like i think i’m starting the getting-to-sleep process over, with a clean slate.\u00c2\u00a0 i pulled off the cushions, brought out my pillow and sheet, set down my liter jar of water, and went to put away my ice pack.\u00c2\u00a0 coming back to the couch i forgot about the water, and kicked it over, spilling a liter of water on the floor and splashing it all over the sheet and cushions.\u00c2\u00a0 it was too much.\u00c2\u00a0 i just sat down on the wet couch and cried.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

it felt good to cry.\u00c2\u00a0 i was really frustrated.\u00c2\u00a0 and i couldn’t really express it.\u00c2\u00a0 and i haven’t cried in some time.\u00c2\u00a0 and the crying was maybe the thing that made me tired enough that no matter what, i was going to be able to sleep.<\/p>\n

I finally slept around 7am.\u00c2\u00a0 I woke around 1030am. i feel like i got hit by a truck.\u00c2\u00a0 or maybe like i did a hard workout, then drank a six pack on an empty stomach.<\/p>\n

what i don’t get is why there were two waves of chills\/fever, why the second one was worse, and why the self injection seems to have such stronger side effects, at least on the first night.\u00c2\u00a0 I guess mainlining any drug is the best way to take it.\u00c2\u00a0 Maybe that or snorting it.\u00c2\u00a0 LOL.<\/p>\n

so, my mind was racing the whole time.\u00c2\u00a0 i kept remembering things i needed to do.\u00c2\u00a0 and ideas i had had but had forgotten, and questions i had, and thoughts i wanted to remember.\u00c2\u00a0 so i wrote them down in the book O gave me.\u00c2\u00a0 in the dark.\u00c2\u00a0 my handwriting is bad enough when i can see what i am writing.\u00c2\u00a0 check out what it looks like when i can’t.\u00c2\u00a0 I think i will be able to decipher these runes.\u00c2\u00a0 I think so, but it will take an effort.<\/p>\n

\"Insomniac<\/a><\/p>\n

\"Insomniac<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

it seemed like it was going to be an easy round this time, but i spoke too soon. I went through a mild round of chills and fever, felt better, and went to sleep around 11, drugged and seemingly peaceful. \u00c2\u00a0 I woke at 130am with the worst chills I have had yet.\u00c2\u00a0 Much worse … Continue reading Spoke Too Soon: really bad night<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[11,8,42,13,15],"class_list":["post-79","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daily-update","tag-interferon","tag-meditation","tag-self-injection","tag-side-effects","tag-sleep"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=79"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=79"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=79"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=79"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}