Since the diagnosis i feel like i have an increased capacity to love people, and for people to love me.\u00c2\u00a0 or, put another way, i’m more likely to tell people i love them, and they to tell me.\u00c2\u00a0 people whom i very close to (but never said it), but also people whom this ordeal brought me closer to.<\/p>\n
I don’t think it is the fear that i might not get the chance to say it b\/c i might die, but rather that the possibility that i may die spurs me to do things I really wanted to do anyway.\u00c2\u00a0 its not that the diagnosis has me backed into a corner, but rather that it has become an opportunity to take advantage of.<\/p>\n
I guess I became much more comfortable with the idea of loving platonically in the last few years.\u00c2\u00a0 I’m not sure when it happened, but it did.\u00c2\u00a0 I became much more comfortable with saying it, even to my parents.\u00c2\u00a0 I mean, of course, I love my parents, but I think that in the last few years something changed about the way I related to the phrase that allowed me to really mean it.\u00c2\u00a0 Or to recognize that emotion as love, though a different kind of love than romantic love.<\/p>\n
So I got more used to saying it, and the idea of it.<\/p>\n
Correspondingly, my cancer caused my friends to tell me they loved me.\u00c2\u00a0 I could speculate on causes: that it was the fear that I might die and they might never be able to tell me, or that the *realness* of the cancer allowed them to break out of their fear, or soomething else equally speculative.\u00c2\u00a0 But I will simply say that it has happened, and it is comforting.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Since the diagnosis i feel like i have an increased capacity to love people, and for people to love me.\u00c2\u00a0 or, put another way, i’m more likely to tell people i love them, and they to tell me.\u00c2\u00a0 people whom i very close to (but never said it), but also people whom this ordeal brought … Continue reading Saying “I Love You”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[26,43,27,44,33,22],"class_list":["post-90","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-metanarrative","tag-comfort","tag-death","tag-friends","tag-hope","tag-parents","tag-telling-people"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/90","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=90"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/90\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=90"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=90"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=90"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}