{"id":96,"date":"2008-08-28T16:36:09","date_gmt":"2008-08-28T23:36:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/?p=96"},"modified":"2008-08-28T16:36:09","modified_gmt":"2008-08-28T23:36:09","slug":"the-new-normal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/?p=96","title":{"rendered":"The New “Normal”"},"content":{"rendered":"

About 10 days ago I had a pretty important conversation with my naturopath.\u00c2\u00a0 It had two foci: my new Normal state, and confronting my fears about feeling out of control.<\/p>\n

He pointed out that over the last 7 months (it is now 7…) my emotional and physical baseline for what was “normal” has fluctuated wildly.\u00c2\u00a0 And I don’t really remember all of these discrete moments.\u00c2\u00a0 All I remember is maybe the last week. The here and now.\u00c2\u00a0 Which is always not quite what I once was able to do.\u00c2\u00a0 But the point was that I am doing so much better than I was after the surgery or during the IV IFN in Portland. And I have to accept that things have changed and that I have a new standard of “normal.”<\/p>\n

A lot of acceptance that has to happen during this year. Its okay to be a new normal.\u00c2\u00a0 My new normal changes.\u00c2\u00a0 It is better than it was a month or two ago, but it is *not* my old normal.\u00c2\u00a0 It will keep oscillating a bit.\u00c2\u00a0 But hopefully it will stay high.<\/p>\n

The other thing we talked about was my anxiety that “i can’t take care of my life”.\u00c2\u00a0 The thought and the fear spin out of control.\u00c2\u00a0 And attaches itself to all kinds of other toughts.<\/p>\n

But the fact is, i can take care of myself.\u00c2\u00a0 Mostly at least.\u00c2\u00a0 I have to look at these things specifically.\u00c2\u00a0 And really ask if they are true.\u00c2\u00a0 Its not a pep talk.\u00c2\u00a0 its facts.\u00c2\u00a0 i’m doing these things.\u00c2\u00a0 i can do this.<\/p>\n

If i call myself out on a *specific* fear (e.g. that I can’t make myself dinner, that i can’t do creative work, that i can’t go to the grocery story), i see its not true, or i see it is true (and i do something about it – i ask for help).\u00c2\u00a0 take it out of mental torture.\u00c2\u00a0 look through it and see the truth, or accept it and figure out a way around it.\u00c2\u00a0 otherwise it will eat me.\u00c2\u00a0 i eat it, or it eats me.<\/p>\n

i need to write down a journal of stressful thoughts.\u00c2\u00a0 and then question them.\u00c2\u00a0 and they’ll loose my power over me.<\/p>\n

i will bring the darkness out into the light and see where the dust settles.\u00c2\u00a0 and then from there, i can figure out how to make sure i’m supported in terms of the mental down.<\/p>\n

so to start, here is a graph of my changing normal.\u00c2\u00a0 from december 06, when i was having a rough time, feb when i was diagnosed, through the surgeries, and IFN treatments.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

About 10 days ago I had a pretty important conversation with my naturopath.\u00c2\u00a0 It had two foci: my new Normal state, and confronting my fears about feeling out of control. He pointed out that over the last 7 months (it is now 7…) my emotional and physical baseline for what was “normal” has fluctuated wildly.\u00c2\u00a0 … Continue reading The New “Normal”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[41,11,38,18],"class_list":["post-96","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-metanarrative","tag-back-to-daily-life","tag-interferon","tag-learning","tag-the-fight"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/96","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=96"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/96\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=96"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=96"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melanarrative.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=96"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}