Category: Uncategorized

Losing things

I left my camera in Illinois. Thankfully the housekeeping found it, and the hotel clerk is sending it to me. This has been a year of losing things: 4 hats (My two favs, and then I bought 2 new ones, and lost those two). Two pair of gloves (nice bike riding gloves, really nice ones). One really really nice bike riding jacket; I dropped it on the street I think. Oh, forgetfulness

I’m going to get a personal chef (LOL)

I’m going to get a personal chef.  Or rather, I’m going to have someone cook me some food once a week.

Getting cancer young sucks for many reasons, but one of which is that all your friends are too busy to make their own food, let alone do the typical food brigade.  But later in life, when most people get cancer, people are retired, or at least their children are grown.  I know that my mother has been involved in several food support networks:  someone brings over soup and a casserole once a week or something.

Well, here in NYC, alienating move-it-or-lose-it NYC, you can’t find friends with the time, energy or skill to make you food and deliver it (and I don’t blame them!!!).

BUT you can find someone who you can pay to do it for you.  In NYC you can get just about everything delivered… for a price.  From you groceries, to custom shopped clothing, to Cocaine: someone will deliver it.

So I emailed with someone whose card was up on the board at my favorite coffee shop.  Hopefully this works. out.

Lets try it, even if you only can cover through the end of March.  Even those three weeks will be a relief for me.  And if it works, maybe you can set me up with someone when you leave.

Why don’t you propose some specific dishes (a grain or pasta salad, a casserole/baked dish that I can reheat, and a soup.)

I have lesions in my mouth and on my tongue.  (fun, right?)   I have noticed that acids hurt my mouth really badly, and that things like bread crust also hurt a lot, so no tomatos, citrus, or nuts.  Cheese, Cottage Cheese, pasta, Oatmeal, soft breads are all good.  I’ve been told that beets are great for chemo, but I haven’t made any lately.  I should go try some, but I’m banned from all Buffet/Salad bars (e.g. Whole Foods) b/c I’m immunosuppressed.

I can’t quite quantify what $50/hr means in terms of volume of food.  Can you propose some specific dishes, and estimate how long the whole thing would take, what ingredients would costs, and assuming it is within my budget, we’ll go forward.

I would be happy to start this as soon as you can

Thanks,

m

On Mar 9, 2009, at 10:34 PM, DBN wrote:

Hi,

Thank you for getting in touch with me. I would be interested in working with you, but want to let you know that I will be moving out of Brooklyn at the end of March. Although this would be a short term arrangement, I am happy to cook for you, and could arrange for someone to take over when I leave.

I generally charge $50/hr for my services, and charge for ingredients separately, however this is negotiable.  I can propose specific dishes, or since you gave me guidelines of what you are looking for, I could go ahead and prepare things that would be more gentle on your system, and you would not need to select the menu.

I hope that your treatments are not too difficult on your body, and that you are headed for a speedy recovery.

Please let me know if you’d like to work together.

Best,
DBN

Today I feel like I have cancer

There are days I feel like I don’t have cancer. And other days where I definitely feel like I am under treatment. Emotionally and physically exhausted. Fatigued.

Dana Jennings has a nice post about all the kinds of fatigue that come with treatment. I feel like I’ve been through most of these. And today, has been a heavy one.

But the weariness caused by prostate cancer isn’t a constant. It fluctuates from week to week, day to day, even hour to hour. In this nano-age of super-instant gratification, we have lost sense of organic time. Prostate cancer, though, has planted me more firmly in each moment. One of the things that I’ve learned, as I try to pay attention, is that cancer’s paint box includes many shades of fatigue.

Post Injection: Rough two days

The last 48 hrs have been pretty rough.  I woke up Tuesday feeling like had done a really hard workout, then drank the better part of a 12 pack.  My whole body ached, I had a pounding headache, i was nauseous, and I felt like it was all going to get worse if I moved.  But I moved.  I got up.  I slowly felt a little better.  But the headache never went away (despite some Codeine), and the chills and fevers came back in the evening.  I did manage to sleep last night, but again, woke up feeling like crap.  I felt better mid day.  This evening I’m panicking about the injection I have to give myself.  I’m scared.  I spent an hour on a park bench wearing my ice vest alternately trying to meditate and succeeding in crying.