This is not my beautiful house

I’m in my apartment in Brooklyn. I walked in and had total shock: this is where I live?  Really?  This is really where I live?

It seemed so much smaller than I remembered, and darker.  And nothing seemed like it was where it was supposed to be.  And the lobby wasn’t quite as clean as it was before.  And there was rust on the entry door.  And there was scummy shit in the bathtub that I couldn’t wash away (probably from the construction upstairs).  And the upstairs neighbor continues to throw trash out this window.

But my bed was still perfect

Same as it ever was.

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I am 30 year old Brooklynite who was diagnosed with Stage III Melanoma in February 2008. I started this blog after the first day of high dose Interferon chemotherapy in June 2008.

4 thoughts on “This is not my beautiful house”

  1. Readjusting is yet another stage, yes? It will be so good, though, for you to get back into some of your old routines – the kinds of things that you can only do in your beautiful house in NY.

  2. Oh I missed you! I am so happy to hear you’re back.

    Everytime I come back to NYC its always feels a little more gross then I remember it, glad its not just me this time..

  3. I ran the AC and survived two nights now. I’m especially vulnerable to the heat right now. I actually put an ice pack on my chest last night. Serious.

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