Cucumber Soup and Bean Salad with Truffle Oil
Maybe I can’t afford a personal chef… a quart of soup and a quart of bean salad were $120… they had truffle oil, and shallots, and all kinds of nice things. but it might just be too expensive.
18 weeks to go
Week 30 of self injection complete. 34/52 weeks complete. 18 weeks go go. I’m 2/3 of the way.
Mouth Sores
These are the lesions on the sides of my mouth. I have one on each side. Right about where my teeth meet. I also have two on my tongue. All of these are at least 1 cm in length. Raw. And painful.
As if the nausea wasn’t hard enough, it actually hurts badly to put anything in my mouth. Even water hurts.
A Tarot Reading: “No”
Addwag writes:
In honor of your last few post I did a tarot reading for you and I thought the card I pulled for you might be helpful for you to see.
I really don’t know what to say to you sometimes, because you are so much like me- I feel like I am giving myself advice which, lets be honest, I never listen to – esp. when it comes from myself.. I am too busy trying not to fall behind whatever self imposed deadlines I made for myself.
hope you’re feeling a bit more rested (but that doesn’t mean you should get out of bed)
mantra: no no no..
xoo
a
A lesson I am trying so hard to learn
Addwag writes via email:
PS i just read your blog-
why in gods name are you emailing me about my stupid questions when you feel terrible? although I appreciate it, please next time, it can wait, I promise.. send me an email that says something like (I will write it so you can just paste the reply in)
“I feel like shit today and I shouldn’t be on my computer so ping me another day when I don’t feel like I am dying of a rare disease you get from monkeys in the congo”
sorry- but us overachievers have got to learn to force ourselves to stop working sometimes.. xoo
if there is anything I can do for 2,000 miles away let me know, promise?
It is all a front
On Mar 15, 2009, at 12:27 PM, PD wrote:
i think b/c your studio work seems productive i assumed that you were feeling better. but i know you well enough to know that i might have been off on that assumption.
Yeah, duh! Of course it is all a front. It is all a way of me thinking that I am okay. Studio production is up, therefore I must be okay. Both telling the outside world, and telling myself. If I keep acting like I am fine I will be fine. (Lie.)
But these last two months have been really hard. And i’ve worn myself down.
And I’m pretty much going to spend the day in bed today. sick to my stomach. exhausted. my skin is falling apart.
new tongue lesions
Reiter’s Syndrome. The IFN causes it. Hurts like f’ing hell to eat.
Chocolate!!!
addwag sent chocolate from PDX. f’ing awesome!
the foodz, i has it
my personal chef delivered today. the food is so yummy. i’m actually eating dinner. i’ve been having so much trouble with that.
it has taken me 5 years to figure out new york. what make it hard. what makes it easier. who are your friends. how to deal with all the crazy people in power.
i think that this discovery of delivered home cooked food is one of the more recent revelations. it is actually much less expensive than take out or deli counter food, much healthier, and everything is to my tastes. so none of it is hurting my mouth. its pretty amazing.
