Seeing things, part two

So I went to all my doctors this week.

I’ll post about my hypnotherapist in a bit, but I’ll just say that it is great.  It is really helping.  I’ll explain more in a followup post.

My Oncological Psychiatrist said that the “seeing things” was probably IFN related.  He upped my Lexapro and Klonopin to take the edge off of my anxiety and help with the pins and needles.

My Oncologist says that unless I am having “night tremors” the visual abberations are not anything to worry about.  He says that the lesions and ulcers and strange skin textures are all “to be expected.”  He said that the pins and needles are a new side effect, but that none of it surprises him.  And, he said that “unless you skin is falling off, I don’t see any reason to modify your treatment.” He was quite concerned about depression, though.  He asked a lot about that.  He said that it starts to hit four months in, and gets worse through months 7 and 8.  By the 9th month, it gets better: either you have adjusted, or you see the light at the end of the tunnel, or something.

My psychologist says I’m doing well

And my dermatologist said that all the skin stuff, and mouth lesions stuff, are not growths (e.g. cancer, or warts) but are something called Acral Erythema.  As far as I understood, Acral Erythema is a skin reaction to a lowering of blood supply at the furthest extremities.  One of the things that the IFN does is reduce blood flow to the capilaries, hence the problems around my hands, ankles, and my tongue.  He gave me some cortizone cream, which has not seemed to do anything yet.

not-exactly-seeing-things

I have been noticing that I have been not-exactly-seeing-things, but having weird visual perception ticks.  I see movement where there isn’t anything moving.  Its like I am seeing cockroaches, or bugs, or something, but then i freeze my vision, and concentrate, and they’re not there.  Objects and shadows seem to be in motion.  This is recent — last two to three weeks, and I only really articulated it as a pattern in the last few days.  I remember my psychiatrist asking me about seeing things & hallucinations in one of our initial meetings about the drugs.  So I am going to head up to Columbia and we’re going to talk about it…

man… hallucinations!  i guess that is the proper term for not-exactly-seeing-things. i never thought i would have hallucinations, as i stay far away from those kind of drugs…