this is the guided imagery meditation i do right as i am going to sleep, which is “an especially powerful time” according to Belleruth.
Belleruth Naparstek’s Meditations to Relieve Stress
It’s kind of supercheese. But it totally works:
i haven’t made it past the first five minutes
i fall asleep each time
that’s the idea, of course. she says so. in my ear.
i have one about Cancer, but i have been kind of scared of it. but i will try it out soon.
It wasn’t as bad as the first day for sure, but I did have the chills/fever pattern. I was so worried about my liver function being low enough, I didn’t take any preventative Tylenol (as I had been the first two weeks), so I immediately felt the effects even as I was getting up from the infusion chair. And definitely on the way home in the car.
When I got home I took some Tylenol and Advil, and crawled into bed with all the covers and the heating pad. My muscles were on the threshold of contracting and doing the chills/shake thing that Bob told me about. But I didn’t go into shakes. I hugged the heating pad around my chest, slept off the chill for an hour and a half, and woke up sweating with a mild fever feeling. And hungry.
Following my Naturopath’s advice, I ate a lot, exercised a bit (15 minute walk), and am about to go meditate. I feel much more in control mentally. And, of course, I am control minded, shall we say. (Appending the work “freak” just seems unsavory in this context…)
i posted this like twenty minutes ago, and this showed up via a comment spam link on my blog
http://www.chemicalengineeringconsulting.com/2008/07/naturopath-20-goals-and-strategies/
oh, boy, cancer comment spam.
cancer spam!!!
omg
laughing
i got enough sleep before the meeting with the naturopath.
basically it was kind of like therapy. except from a cancer survivor. whose whole deal is finding ways to win the mental war and compensate for the nastiness of the physical war in the body.
he gave me B-12 vitamins. b/c I don’t eat meat, which is mostly true. (did you know that pescatarian was added to the dictionary today? So was Fanboy!!! — http://edition.cnn.com/2008/US/07/07/new.dictionary.words.ap/index.html) and it will also help my liver function
and we talked a lot about goals and how i need to overcome this mentally. it was a lot of information all at once. and it was just the same information as the last time, but more specific. lets see if i can remember:
1. I personally have to take on the mental battle. The drs are doing the chemical stuff, but I have to win the mental battle.
2. I need to set goals. Part of the problem is that I am just reacting right now. Reactionary. I feel bad, I feel good. I need to set short term and long term goals. So I have something to aim for. My long term goal is full quality of life during the 11 month treatment period. My short term goal is to make it through the next week feeling good, with more energy, and more calmness. And to have liver enzyme counts that allow me to finish up the drugs.
To accomplish the next week’s goal he told me I need to eat more (whatever I can eat, whenever I can eat), continue to exercise, take my B-12, and I forget the rest. Oh, meditation. Meditation.
I said to him that meditation seemed to work, but I didn’t understand why. And he said something that was kind of stunning, but I kind of forget what it was. maybe it was kind of mystical like ‘maybe you know more than you realize.’
Anyway, it was really early in the morning, and it was so much information, but I forget. The next meeting is after noon, so I’ll be in better shape.
The other thing he kept saying is that I have to move through this. I can’t be passive. I have to move through this, and arrive at a state where I am at peace with the cancer. Because, as he says, I will never get to the point where the cancer is a non-issue. He is 19 years out, and he still thinks about it. As he says, this is now version 2.0 of my life. And there is no going back. But there is making peace.
And if there is no making peace, then I play victim. And that is lame. I don’t want to play victim. Laaaame.
i think there was a bunch more, but that is what i remember now, two hours later.
now it is time to leave to get my Interferon. week 3 begins. hopefully this will go easy. and my liver will stay happy.