Forgetting that I am Forgetting

i’m kind of rough.  back up to full dose again, post immunosupression.  been experiencing a whole lot of side effects.  lots of physical discomfort.  (that’s a nice euphemism.)

O told me today that i have been forgetting things.  as in, she tells me things, or i do things, and then don’t realize that i have already been told this, and ask about it.  or don’t realize that i have already done something. (or more likely: not done something.) i mean, i knew before i was forgetting things.  but now, it seems that i am forgetting things and *not* realizing it.  this has been freaking me out today.

also, lots of pinprick sensations.  the heat rash + hot flash thing.  in the middle of public i just want to pull off all of my clothes and scratch frantically at my skin.  sometimes i pull off all of my outerlayers, and scratch at my skin under my undershirt.  only in new york, right?

actually i wish i was (sort of) in china.  i mean, it would be much hotter there, but in the summer the men in china all pull their shirts up over their bellies.  i think that is the most brilliant move.  all these old men with formal slacks, leather shoes, pulling their shirts up over their bellies.  their nipples stay covered!  but they get some cooling.